Cops Corner

July 5
Hey officer, I’m underage
1:44 a.m. — 2500 block of South Tamiami Trail. Dispute. A 20-year-old man and his wife rented a hotel room. They were dissatisfied with the condition of the room and wanted to find a new hotel. The couple asked for their $50 back, but the clerk said because they used the room for a while, he would only return half the money. The husband called police to resolve the dispute and then added this tidbit: He told the officer that the hotel’s bartender sold him a beer although he’s underage. He apparently didn’t realize that revealing that fact meant he had admitted to drinking underage. The clerk said he believed the husband had a fake ID. The officer told both parties that it was a civil matter, and they’d have to settle it on their own.

The way nature intended
8:20 p.m. — 900 block of Beach Road. Lewd and Lascivious. A mounted-patrol deputy on the beach noticed a large crowd gathering around a lifeguard stand, so he went to investigate. He saw two men, a 27-year-old car dealer and a 21-year-old student, wearing nothing but smiles and running around, swinging their bathing suits in the air. Assuredly they put their suits back on as they were booked into jail.

Ranger danger
8:51 p.m. — 300 Ohio Place. Suspicious Person. A person reported a man knocked on his door and said he was an Army Ranger and needed a ride. When the person closed the door, the man started yelling and eventually left.

July 6
Robin Hood-lums
12:30 p.m. — 7200 block of South Tamiami Trail. Illegal Dumping. The two suspects were driving a 1980s SUV with a trailer attached to it. At the above address, they were seen taking a large computer desk off the trailer and placing it next to a dumpster. After dumping the desk, the men drove off with other furniture on their trailer. It’s not known if they intended to dump the rest of the furniture at other locations.

July 7
The cops! Run!
1:58 a.m. — 2600 block of Waldemere Street. Trespassing in a Park After Hours. An officer saw three teenagers walking through a park toward some picnic tables where another group of teens were. The officer called for backup and when the teens saw the officer approach, most immediately took off running. One officer chased them, while the other officer approached three who didn’t run. He asked them what they were doing, and they replied that they were about to start drinking. The three teens were told to leave the park, and they did. The officer chasing the others found one of them. Asked why he ran, the young man said he was just hanging out and didn’t want to get into trouble.