Cops Corner

July 13
Flattery will get you nowhere
2:30 p.m. — 900 block of Beach Road. Suspicious Incident. A woman in the beach parking lot saw a man and woman standing by her car and pushing a note through a crack in the window. After they left, she opened her car door and read the note. It said: “You don’t know us, but (we) wanted to know if you wanted to hang out, go to the movies, party or anything you want to do. You’re hot. Hot, hot, hot!” The message was signed and had a phone number. The car owner was not interested. She described the woman who left the note as “sick, ill looking.”

Balancing act
3:13 p.m. — John Ringling Causeway. A woman was seen walking up the John Ringling Bridge on top of the railing. A bystander called police because she was worried about the woman’s safety.

July 14
I need my mommy
4:04 a.m. — 5200 block of Ocean Boulevard. Impaired Person. A deputy found a man lying on a bench outside of a bar. The deputy said the man “had an odor of an alcoholic beverage emanating” from him. It took a few minutes to wake the man, but the deputy finally succeeded and asked if there was someone who could drive him home. The man gave the deputy a credit card. The deputy finally got a phone number of someone to call, but it was the man’s mother, who lives in Pennsylvania.

Skinny dippers
4:15 a.m. — 3500 Cheshire Square. Public Nudity and Disorderly Intoxication. A police officer responded to a report of noisy people at a community pool. He found three people in the pool — all three women, all three drunk and all three naked. Hello, officer.

When you’re hungry, you’re hungry
8:45 a.m. — 5800 block of Derek Avenue. Aggravated Assault. The complainant was in a fast-food restaurant drive-thru and said the man in the car behind him began yelling at him. The angry man believed the complainant had gotten in line before him. The man pulled out a gun, cocked it and placed it against the complainant’s chest. The suspect then pulled out of the drive-thru and drove away. The complainant continued through, got his food and then called the sheriff’s office. Hey, breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

Ah, young love
11:34 a.m. — 3000 block of Eden Mills Drive. Harassing Phone Calls. A woman said her daughter’s ex-boyfriend has been calling her home daily for the past six months. The woman believes he wants to get back together with her daughter, who “doesn’t want anything to do with him.” She blocked his number at one point, but he just began calling from his cell phone. She will now try to get a restraining order.

Now you see it, now you don’t
3:56 p.m. — 1300 block of South Tamiami Trail. Petit Theft. A man in a supermarket tried to steal a can of soda by concealing it under a piece of paper. His problem, though, is that most people know that paper does not come in soda-can shapes.

Row, row, row his boat
4 p.m. — 1 block of Bayfront Drive. Grand Theft. The owner of a rowboat said he just saw two people in his boat. He approached them as they rowed to shore, and they began to argue with him, before running away. Police found one of the suspects. The boat owner identified her, and she was arrested.