Welcome Back: The Best of Cops Corner

May 10
Armed, but not dangerous
11:31 p.m. — 800 block of Goldenpond Court. Attempted Burglary. A homeowner was opening the blinds on a sliding glass door that opens to his lanai, when he saw an arm reaching across the doors. All he saw was an arm, nothing else. The arm and, presumably, the body to which it was attached, got away. Perhaps the sheriff’s office can create a lineup of arms, so the victim can identify the burglar.

May 16
Chivalry is dead
7:20 p.m. — 13000 block of South Tamiami Trail. Petit Theft and Resisting a Merchant. A man and his girlfriend went shopping at a discount store. Once they walked in the store, the girlfriend went to the restroom, because she felt sick to her stomach. He began shopping, picking up cat food, kitty litter, beer and soda, and walked toward the exit without paying. An employee asked him for his receipt, so he briefly held up a piece of paper and hustled out the door. His girlfriend was outside, and he hurried her to the car. She was in the driver’s seat, but before she could back out, the employee appeared again and asked for a receipt. He told his girlfriend to drive, but she asked him if he actually had a receipt and got out of the car. He jumped in the driver’s seat and backed out of the parking spot, bumping the store employee. He drove off, leaving his girlfriend. Sheriff’s deputies knew where to find him and took him to jail.

June 7
‘911, what’s your emergency?’
5:06 a.m. — 3900 block of South Tamiami Trail. False call. A 20-year-old man called 911 because a convenience-store clerk would not sell him cigarettes without an ID. The customer told the officer who responded that he thought police might be able to verify his age to the clerk. The officer informed the customer that was not a proper use of the 911 system.

June 22
Personal pickup denied
7:30 a.m. — 300 block of Old Venice Road. Disturbance. When a school bus failed to pick up two boys on time, their parents called the school board to complain. The switchboard operator told them that the bus was running late, but it would arrive at the bus stop shortly. That did not suffice for the parents, who lived a block away from the bus stop. They insisted that the bus drive to their home to pick up their sons. The operator told them that was against the district’s policy. The parents hung up the phone, but called back several more times to complain, using vulgar language at times. A deputy went to the parents’ home, but they refused to answer the door.

June 28
Did he see this coming?
1:18 p.m. — 7200 block of South Tamiami Trail. Criminal Mischief. An employee of a psychic shop parked his convertible on the side of the road with a For Sale sign on it. The next morning, he saw that someone had slashed the convertible top in two places and left two drops of blood on the side panel. There was no information provided on the condition of his crystal ball.

July 14
When you’re hungry, you’re hungry
8:45 a.m. — 5800 block of Derek Avenue. Aggravated Assault. The complainant was in a fast-food restaurant drive-thru and said the man in the car behind him began yelling at him. The angry man believed the complainant unfairly got in line before him. The man pulled out a gun, cocked it and placed it against the complainant’s chest. The suspect then pulled out of the drive-thru and drove away. The complainant continued through, got his food and then called the sheriff’s office. Hey, breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

July 20
Creative block
7 a.m. — 7100 block of Curtiss Avenue. Grand Theft. A business owner said he gave a painter $2,000 to buy supplies for a repainting job. When the business owner called the hardware store, he was told that the purchase was only $659. He asked the painter why he did not return the sizeable amount of change, and the painter refused to keep working until he was paid the money for the job. The painter had been given a key to the building, and when the business owner arrived at work the next morning, all the supplies were gone. Deputies have not been able to find the painter.

Aug. 24
On the move
2:21 p.m. — 1400 block of First Street. Stolen Property. A supermarket manager told police that a man continually hops on the store’s motorized scooter and drives it off the property. She wants a trespassing warning issued for him.

Aug. 30
Life on the run
9:20 a.m. — Siesta Drive and South Osprey Avenue. Theft. A car dealership has been trying to find a particular vehicle for five months, so it can repossess it. A repo man spotted the vehicle at the above intersection. The driver noticed that she was being followed and ran a red light to get away. The repo man was unable to follow her any further.

Sept. 12
Late-night snack
10:19 p.m. — 600 North Washington Boulevard. Petit Theft. A gas station clerk said a man walked into her store, grabbed a hot dog and an Arizona iced tea and began eating and drinking in the store. When the clerk confronted him about paying for the food, he told her he would provide a food stamp. She told him she didn’t accept food stamps, and he swore at her and ran out of the store. The clerk tried to catch him, but he scuffled with her and got away. Police caught the man while he was walking off the property. He did have a food stamp on him, but no money. The officer photographed the half-eaten hot dog as evidence.

Sept. 22
Spell check needed
9:30 a.m. — 50 block of Central Avenue. Uttering a Forged Instrument. A woman was caught trying to cash a forged check at a bank. She wrote out the check for $789, and she probably would have gotten the cash if not for one thing — she did not spell the account holder’s name correctly on the signature line.

June 28
At least he’s being honest
7:30 p.m. — Midnight Pass Road and Siesta Key Circle. Driving with a Suspended License. A sheriff’s deputy noticed a car driving erratically, swerving in and out of a single lane several times. He pulled the driver over, and the man behind the wheel told him: “I’m in trouble. I don’t have a license. I am suspended.” The driver’s license was indeed suspended, and he was taken to jail.

Aug. 18
Bad poker face
11 a.m. — 8200 block of South Tamiami Trail. Petit Theft. About an hour into a mall-restaurant employee’s shift, she told her manager that she was going home for the day. The manager said she could go as soon as he counted the money in her cash register. As he was counting the money, the employee ran out the back door. The manager quickly realized why. There was $160 missing from the cash drawer. The employee apparently forgot that her employer had her phone number, address, social security number, etc. It wasn’t hard for investigators to find her.