Cops Corner

July 25
Dr. Strangelove sighting
9:53 a.m. — 1600 block of Main Street. Road Hazard. A man in an electric wheelchair was driving down the middle of Main Street.

July 26
All fired up
9:20 a.m. — 7100 block of Curtiss Avenue. Criminal Mischief. An employee got to work and noticed in front of the business a recycling bin had been burned and was melted to the ground. The employee said a co-worker had just been fired the day before and felt the two events could be related.

‘That’s not good’
1:38 p.m. — 1900 block of Casey Key Road. Drug Possession and Loitering. A sheriff’s deputy patrolling Casey Key noticed a motorcyclist standing in the driveway of a home with closed hurricane shutters on it. Believing the homeowner was not there, the deputy approached the man, who said he was in the driveway looking for shark’s teeth. He said driveways were the best place to look for them. The deputy asked if the man had anything illegal on him. The man replied that he didn’t and that the deputy was free to search his backpack. He apparently didn’t think the deputy would call his bluff. Wrong move. The deputy found a glass pipe and a bag of clear crystals. The man said, “That’s not good.” The deputy asked what the substance was, and the man admitted it was methamphetamine. He was placed under arrest. The gambler should always know when to fold ’em.

Can you hear me now?
2:30 p.m. — 200 North Lime Avenue. Trespassing. A homeless man was caught trying to steal a $5 pair of headphones from a discount store. He told the store manager that he actually had the money to pay for the headphones. The manager told police she would allow the man to pay for the item, but she wanted officers to issue him a trespassing warning.
Peer pressure

4:26 p.m. — Flamingo Avenue. Suspicious Incident. Five kids, ages 7 to 12, were seen jumping off a bridge into the water, bringing to mind that age-old question, “If your friends told you to jump off a bridge, would you?” Apparently, for these five kids, the response was “yes.”

Paper trail
6:17 p.m. — 2100 block of South Tuttle Avenue. Suspicious Person. A man called police when he discovered a woman sitting on his porch. The woman appeared confused. She told the man she was looking for a specific address in the 2100 block of Browning Street. She told the responding officer that she recently moved to a home at that address, but she couldn’t remember how to get there. The officer took her to the 2100 block, but no homes were there. The woman called her daughter, who relayed the real address, which was in the 2800 block of Browning. The officer wrote down the address on a piece of paper and told the woman to keep it in her purse, so she didn’t get lost again.

You deserve a break today
8:23 p.m. — 2100 block of Ringling Boulevard. Suspicious Person. Someone reported to police a man sitting on a wall outside a fast-food restaurant. His uniform was somewhat unusual: He had his pants wrapped around his waist. He got extra points for complexity of design.

Dr. Feelgood
11:40 p.m. — Bahia Vista Street and Tamiami Trail. Possession of a Controlled Substance. A man approached another man in a supermarket parking lot and asked him if he had a cigarette. Man No. 2 replied that he had only the cigarette he was already smoking. Man No. 1 said that was too bad, because he would have traded a Xanax pill for a cigarette. Man No. 1 then inexplicably asked Man No. 2 to punch him. Man No. 2 instead called police. When an officer searched Man No. 1, he discovered 29 whole and several broken Xanax pills.