Cops Corner

July 18
Wicked stepdaughter
9:03 a.m. — 3000 block of Arlington Street. Suspicious Incident. A woman who took off with her stepfather’s car has refused to return it. The man said he didn’t want the car reported stolen just yet, to give her one more chance to return it on her own.

Hide and seek
10:26 a.m. — 2100 block of Ringling Boulevard. Suspicious Person. A man was acting suspiciously on the ground level of a parking garage. He was hiding behind vehicles, trying not to be seen. He did not have much success.

July 19
Early release?
6:12 a.m. — South Osprey Avenue and Loma Linda Street. Suspicious Person. A man was found staggering along the road. He was stumbling as though he were impaired, but police discovered he had just been released from the hospital … perhaps a bit too soon, though.

Custody dispute
11:06 a.m. — 10 block of Cavallini Drive. Civil Disturbance. The biggest custody issue for this divorcing couple does not appear to be their children or their dog. Instead, the fate of two wicker chairs and a ceramic table has been the focus of the greatest battle. The husband has been coveting the patio set since he moved out of the home several months ago. On the above date, said furniture set went missing from the wife’s lanai. The Sheriff’s Office is investigating.

Cut and run
3:17 p.m. — 2100 block of Inner Cass Circle. Grand Theft. A man was cutting his grass when his mower ran out of gas. He dashed to the gas station to buy more fuel, but when he returned, the mower was gone — stolen mid-mow. His wife was inside their house at the time, but she didn’t see or hear anything.

Keeps on giving
4:23 p.m. — 5600 block of Clark Road. Fraudulent Use of Credit Card. After he noticed about $450 of unauthorized charges on his debit card, a man called the Sheriff’s Office. He suspected his ex-girlfriend was the culprit, because he had allowed her to use his card to purchase items online when they were still dating.

Mr. Clean
6:58 p.m. — 200 block of North Lime Avenue. Counterfeit Currency. A man tried to buy a bottle of body wash with a $20 bill. When he handed the money to the store’s cashier, she immediately could tell it was counterfeit, because the paper was much thicker than real money. She looked up and just shook her head at the man. He immediately said, “It’s counterfeit,” and walked out of the store without the body wash.

Dead on arrival?
11:06 p.m. — 4000 block of North Tamiami Trail. Suspicious Person. A man was found lying on the front doorway of a funeral home. No, he was not a delivery. He was just loitering and was asked to leave.

July 20
Fourth of July procrastinators
2:51 a.m. — 600 block of North Jefferson Avenue. Suspicious Incident. Two people were seen in the middle of the road setting off fireworks. Only 16 days late, guys.