Cops Corner

May 4
Customer satisfaction
1:45 p.m. — 1800 block of Sandalwood Drive. Criminal Mischief and Assault. A homeowner was unsatisfied with some woodwork being done in his home. He was disputing a bill the worker gave him, because of the poor quality. While the homeowner was in another room, the worker was in the living room using a measuring wheel. The homeowner heard the man say, “I’m tired of getting &$!%.” He then heard a smash. He ran to the living room and saw that his new 59-inch plasma TV had been smashed, and it appeared the measuring wheel caused the damage. As the homeowner followed the worker out of the house, the worker raised the measuring wheel in a threatening manner and said he would kill him. The damage to the TV was estimated at $2,000.

May 5
French twist
10 a.m. — 10 block of South Lime Avenue. Criminal Mischief. A business owner arrived at work to see that someone had slashed four tires on three of his business vehicles. The suspect also wrote on one of the trailers, “Nothing is tangible,” and under that, “les yeux brilliants,” which is French for“the bright eyes.” The business owner said he hasn’t fired anyone recently and doesn’t know of any irate customers. C’est la vie.

The mother lode
11:01 a.m. — 3500 block of South Tamiami Trail. Petit Theft Shoplifting. A security guard saw two women stealing a dress from a mall store and followed them to the parking lot. The women drove away, but the guard tracked them and told police in which direction they were traveling. Cops found the women and stopped them. Not only did they find the dress in their possession but also 18 other articles of clothing, four pieces of jewelry and three grooming items, all worth a total of $416.

You’ve got guts
Noon — 2000 block of Ringling Boulevard. Property Damage. A sheriff’s deputy noticed damage to the rear bumper and taillight of his patrol vehicle. He was unsure when it occurred but guesses by the position of the damage, a taller vehicle backed into him in a parking lot.

Thou shalt not yell
12:58 p.m. — 1200 block of North Gulfstream Avenue. Noise Disturbance. The police department received a report of loud praying in the area.

Flew the coop
3:47 p.m. — 1000 block of Tamiami Trail. Animal Problem. Complaint informed police dispatch that an animal was locked in a parked vehicle. It was not a dog or even a cat, as one might imagine. The pet left behind was a parakeet.

You’re fired
8:33 p.m. — 7100 block of South Tamiami Trail. Disturbance. A restaurant employee began arguing with his boss during working hours. The employee was upset that his girlfriend had been fired from the same restaurant. The owner told the employee that he was negatively affecting business by openly arguing, so he was also fired. As the employee left, he told his former boss, “I hope you have fun in jail tonight.” The business owner asked the sheriff’s office to give the man a trespassing warning.

Shouldering the load
9:23 p.m. — South Orange Avenue and Ringling Boulevard. Suspicious Incident. Complainant saw a man carrying a woman over his shoulder. He then dropped her.

Root of the problem
9:30 p.m. — No location given. A homeowner told police that someone in his front yard had gotten stuck in the root system of a tree and was muttering to himself.

May 6
Discriminating burglar
12:39 a.m. — 600 block of South Osprey Avenue. Burglary. A man reported his home had been burglarized. The burglar, however, did not touch three flat-screen TVs or any computer equipment. Instead, the thief rummaged through clothing draws and ended up taking $50 in cash that was left in plain sight.