Cops Corner: Longboat Key

Sept. 8
The naked truth
2:42 a.m. — 100 block of N. Shore Road. Code Enforcement. Police found a pile of clothes on the beach and later located their naked owners hiding behind a fallen tree. The couple was escorted back to their clothes and warned against trespassing on the beach after hours.

Expired tags
7:29 a.m. — 500 block of Bay Isles Road. Violation. After police pulled him over for driving a vehicle with expired tags, a man told police he knew he was not supposed to drive but needed to get to work. The driver was given written warnings and a notice to appear in court.

After the fall
10:36 a.m. — 5600 block of GMD. Rescue. Police responded to a report of a man falling from a building and found a pressure-washer company employee lying on the parking pavement. Police stabilized the man, who was conscious, until Fire Rescue arrived. A fellow employee told police the man hit a tree during his fall. The man was transported to a hospital via Bayflite helicopter.

Sept. 9
Spiritual battle
4:31 p.m. — 4700 block of GMD. Mental Case. A hotel manager reported a guest was behaving strangely and had turned over his salad plate onto a chair. The guest told police he was recently released from Manatee County Jail after he demanded that a store clerk install a LoJack chip inside his 10-year-old son; he said voices belonging to either Jesus Christ or the Boogeyman told him to do so. He also told police he was fighting the devil and if he ate poisoned mushrooms, “It would not look like suicide.” The man told police to wait while he grabbed the slingshot he dropped in an earlier battle with a demon. No slingshot was located. Police transported the man to Manatee Glens Treatment Center in Bradenton and completed Baker Act paperwork.

Dem bones
6:48 p.m. — 5400 block of GMD. Suspicious Circumstance. A woman turned in a plastic bag with seven small bones, one large bone and a black bracelet with “eaortho.com smile 4 awhile” written on it. Although the smaller bones resembled animal bones that often wash ashore from crab traps, the woman felt that the larger bone and the bracelet were suspicious.

Sept. 10
Suspicious swimmer
9:24 a.m. — 3200 block of GMD. Suspicious Person. Police responded to a report of a suspicious person on private property and found the subject sitting on a bench. The man told police he went out early that morning for a swim, met with a Realtor and was looking at the property.

Source of the leak
9:41 a.m. — 3200 block of Bayou Road. Civil Disturbance. A woman reported the contractor’s employee who recently repaired and renovated her bathroom had not responded to her calls about an irregular leak in her toilet. The company agreed to send out a technician, but the woman felt the contractor employee should be responsible for repairs.

Missing motor
12:36 p.m. — 100 block of N. Shore Road. Public Service. A man called police after he parked his vehicle in a beach access and was unable to find it when he returned. The man appeared to be dehydrated and slightly disoriented. Police found the vehicle and drove the man to it.

CLASSIC COPS

June 18, 2003
Presidential address
9:35 p.m. 1600 block of GMD. Suspicious Person. A Pennsylvania woman hanging around the Colony Beach & Tennis Resort told police she is trying to locate George W. Bush, because they are supposed to get married. The woman is a little late — Bush has not been to the Colony since Sept. 11, 2001. The woman’s current husband told police his wife has had a mental breakdown.