Matt's List: Five Saracentric ways to beat a hangover

A few years ago I read an article that Sarasota consumed more alcohol per capita then any other county in Florida. I guess when you live in a Southern resort town on the beach, where happy hours start at noon and a two-martini lunch is the norm, that makes sense. Therefore, this week I bring you my top five hangover helpers with a handy info graphics of moi illustrating different levels of  "the next day."

1) The Ritz Spa --- When the morning after looks like this, The Ritz Spa is your best plan of attack. Recently the spa opened up to you as a local card-carrying member of Sarasota. Now pull up a seat, because it gets even better!  You and your post-intoxicated self can be draped with an iconic Ritz robe and enjoy one of the following: a signature massage, a Sarasota Citrus Scrub or a signature Ritz facial. Plus you get your choice of a manicure or pedicure (but wait, there's more) lunch on the terrace, access to the pools and hotel amenities, complimentaryy valet parking and 15 percent off salon and spa treatment  and  (here comes the hair of the dog) complimentary champagne, all for $235. Of course, you can also do all this without being hung over and it will probably be more enjoyable, but nothing says, "Wow, that was a Sunday Funday" like lying down and having your body stripped of weekend toxins, right?

2) Hot Yoga at Body Heat --- When the night before looks like this and you honored a little moderation, I suggest yoga. A simple Google search told me that "in moderation, alcohol has also been shown to reduce the chances of heart disease, stroke and hypertension, as well as a decrease in bad cholesterol, the ability to stave off Alzheimer's disease and prevent the common cold." It also told me sweating is good for your metabolism, awesome for detoxing and Kim Marlow says it does wonders to your pores. So what does this all mean?  I'm no doctor, but it sounds like the super popular "get your sweat on" Body Heat Yoga lead by the stunning Kelly Prince can only be complemented by a little fun on a Saturday night. My suggestion for a Sunday is to sleep late and hit the 4:30 4:00 class.  It's only and hour and it is certain to make you feel like a million bucks for Monday.  

3) Waffle Stop ---

One morning I woke up and looked like this ...  

... and the night before looked like this ...    

... and somehow I thought looking that way was an excellent idea (for the record, it was a Disco Party). Rather than facing the world in my own personal walk of shame (still dressed this way), I decided to hit The Waffle Stop where I could be alone and ponder life and make sense of why I can't drink like a 22-year-old any longer. The Waffle Stop is about as dive-y and greasy as you can get. You don't worry about putting on a baseball cap or taming your hair. Don't waste precious energy looking for your sunglasses to hide your puffy eyes, either, because The Waffle Stop loves you just the way you are. They prove it with friendly servers, tall waters, fried eggs, hash browns, bacon and bottom-of-the-barrel coffee. It provides the perfect place to begin your day at 1 p.m. sans judgement, and the only thing they make you think about is what the eff does the sign out front mean?

4) Half Shell Oyster House --- When the night before looks like this (yes, this image is in 3D, and if you wear 3D glasses it works) start your Sunday morning with a little of "the hair of the dog." There's no place better to appreciate a swift Sunday kick in the butt than the Half Shell. I'll be the first to admit I'm not a oyster fan, but that's not why I go. The Half Shell has some good breakfast food, but it also has a damn good Bloody Mary. First they infuse their vodka with fresh veggies for a few weeks to give it a fresh garden flavor (sounds healthy, right?) and then they pour in their special mix and garnish with lots of pickled veggies (good for digestion). The space is quiet and the prices are very reasonable, so it's easy to sit with friends for a couple of hours before your Sunday nap.

5) Toddy from Pastry Art --- Happy mornings come from one-beer nights --- amounting to a 2 on my Hangover Scale --- and a toddy will not only cure what little hangover you may have, but it's also arguably the best coffee in Sarasota. It's cold-brewed under some crazy top-secret process (note: I've never asked what the process is, and I'm sure they would tell me if I asked, but I like to think of it as "hard to make") and can be served cold over ice. It's a perfect jolt of caffeine just before your morning jog, and with these hot summer mornings, toddies are good even without a hangover.