Ask Otus: 'Do Plants Have Sex?'

Otus Rufous, an Eastern Screech-owl, was born on Siesta Key and is a full-time resident there. An avid hunter, accomplished vocalist and genuine night owl, Otus is a keen observer of our local wildlife and knows many of nature's secrets. Otus will answer your questions about our amazing wildlife, but only if you Ask Otus™.

Dear Readers,

Recalling that Dr. Samuel Johnson once noted that "only a blockhead writes for no money," I applied to The Moot Sardine Laboratories for a grant-in-aid to complete my seminal study of the sex lives of plants. Moot's grant to me was abysmal. A mere drop in the bucket. The big bucks went to Contributions by Sarasota Bay Dolphins to the Development of Multi-Variable Calculus by some marine mammal specialist. This is because marine biologists at Moot believe dolphins are highly intelligent, sociable creatures that hold the answer to resolving all the mysteries surrounding the biology, behavior, ecology, and health of our ocean's and earth's entire ecosystem, as well as World Peace. Dolphins are also wildly popular and profitable tourist attractions. If only Moot were aware of the dark side of these featherless, noisy, noisome creatures, dolphins would behind bars, not fancy aquarium glass walls! You don't believe me? Here is proof positive in National Geographic's "An Animal #$*% My Vacation!" (viewer advisory: this short video features a wonderfully funny priapic episode).

I'm playing second fiddle to Flipper!?! Okay, Moot. You get what you pay for; so here goes ...

Sex and the Single Flower: A Scholarly Monograph by Otus Rufous (that's me!).

Step one is to find an appropriate study subject. It's not easy on a shoe-string budget.

When I Google " plant male female", what pops up on the screen is an amazing page after page of links to "How can I tell if my marijuana/cannabis plant is male or female?" Unlike Colorado, marijuana is not yet legalized in Florida and acquiring an illegal substance subject plant would be far too expensive on my lousy pittance of a grant. No Rocky Mountain high here.

I finally choose one of Florida's, as well as the world's, most commonly grown (and inexpensive) decorative garden plant — the hibiscus. Botanists refer to the lovely hibiscus blossom as a "perfect" (or "complete") flower. Perfection has nothing to do with its beauty or its symbolism in various cultures. And I should mention that the hibiscus customs of our 50th state ought to be implemented throughout the Continental US so there is never any doubt over what a woman really wants! Just click here and then on the right arrow twice and go to "Hawaii and Pacific Islands."

No, "perfect" means that the flower has both male and female reproductive systems, petals, sepals, and a receptacle. An "imperfect" (or "incomplete") flower can be equally beautiful but will be lacking one of those elements. For example, squash, maize, begonia, oak are just some examples of plants whose flowers are "imperfect." Almost all plants produce flowers that have male and female attributes and it works no differently with flowers than it does with humans or animals. The male has sperm. The female has an ovary where little ovules are waiting to be fertilized by the sperm so they can develop into seeds (offspring!).

To illustrate this I employed a laboratory assistant, Mrs. Igor (pronounced "E-gore"). Well, it's not as though I could afford Dr. Frankenstein himself on this lousy grant. Gopher tortoises do not display obvious sexual dimorphism, so how do I know it is a Mrs.? Easy. Some months back I caught her and a neighbor "going at it" with a smaller him in the angelic position. Should you need to determine the sex of a gopher tortoise you must turn it on its back. The male's plastrom (the shell covering its tummy) is concave and the female's is perfectly flat. But I ask that you don't subject our already harassed gophers to this scientific experiment because it is a terrifying experience for a tortoise to feel that vulnerable and helplessly exposed, even if only for a few minutes. More important, Florida gopher tortoises have received protected status and it is illegal to handle them without a permit. I maintain that as long as the critters know who is what, it's really none of our business.

Mrs. Igor is probably anywhere in her 30s to 50s. She reached sexual maturity when she was around 15 years old and has been producing babies ever since. I was lucky to find her free during my research phase of the study as gopher tortoises make ploddingly thorough (and poorly paid) lab assistants.

Please take a look this photo of this "perfect" hibiscus blossom whose male and female parts are vividly displayed. File photo Igor and hibiscus It is not important that you memorize the names of a flower's features as there is no pop quiz at the end of this study, but I'll use the terms to help explain how it should work.

The male part is called the stamen. It is composed of a filament, and topped by an anther that holds the pollen (i.e., the sperm — in this case noticeably yellow). These multitude of stamens stand erect on a style, much like a male human's erect organ. The style is in the center of the flower and goes from top to bottom. At the very top of the style you will see the female's stigma. In this case, her 5 round stigma are bright red, moist, sticky, and ready to receive the sperm, which then travels down the style to the ovary which has 5 chambers containing eggs waiting to be fertilized so they can produce offspring, i.e., seeds. It's very similar to all animal reproductive systems.

Now, what do you see wrong in this perfect photo of a "perfect" flower? Their malapropos propinquity! She is up in the bedroom and he is downstairs on the sofa in the TV room. No, it wasn't a case of "I have a headache." or "Honey, you don't understand; it's not what it looks like." They each have their "own space" and perhaps even the "perfect" marriage. Therefore, pollination by others must come to their aid.

 Everyone and anything can pollinate a flower; and they do. Motion creates life. When you bend over to sniff a flower you are pollinating it by inhaling and exhaling its fragrance and moving all that pollen up to the stigma. When the wind blows mightily, or gently, flowers are being pollinated. Even the vibrations and wind from a truck passing our plant can stir up that pollen. Butterflies, bees, wasps, and ants wallowing inside the flower as they descend into the depths beyond the ovary to sip away at the hibiscus nectary (which Mrs. Igor has firmly clamped in her powerful jaws) are stirring up the pollen and depositing it on the stigma when they explore and invade the blossom. Due to its tubular construction and bright red coloring, a hummingbird is the ideal pollinator for our hibiscus. It's all about motion and vibration.

Now, what is the problem with that perfect picture? Simply put, this is Florida. Our hibiscus' nebbish tasting nectar can't compete with the far sweeter nectar of other flowering garden plants to which hummingbirds, butterflies, and bees are wildly attracted — plants such as firebush, lantana, golden dewdrop, buddleia. Take, for example, our own Florida native wild marsh hibiscus. Everyone makes a beeline for it! Here are photos of an Eastern Tiger Swallowtail wallowing deep inside the bloom of a marsh hibiscus and then exiting it; all the while stirring up pollen and distributing it on the stigma. File photos swallowtail marsh hibiscus

So, I say it is time to forget our lovely hibiscus and not worry about it. The winds, ants, and the occasional bee or butterfly (most often Sulphurs) will ensure its procreation and survival. It will bear seed and those seeds will scatter on the ground. Birds will alight and eat the seeds and any nearby slugs, beetles, aphids-- all those insects harmful to the plant. That's Mother Nature's way of pest control. Besides, I have exhausted my paltry grant funds and Mrs. Igor is plodding her way through the line at the unemployment office. And just in case you were wondering, gopher tortoises do not actually eat hibiscus flowers. They go for the sweet nectar at the flower's base and discard the petals; much like children sucking on the nectary of honeysuckle blossoms.

I urge my readers to stop, smell and pollinate the flowers. But don't be surprised if you must wait in line for your turn. As you can see from this Buckeye and bee sharing a coneflower photo, some flowers are wildly popular with pollinators.

Now, to the most important part of a study grant ... the insincere thank-you note.

 
Dear Moot Sardine Laboratories:

I was humbled but greatly honored to have received your most generous grant in support of my epoch-making study of plant pollination. My conclusion, supported by incontrovertible evidence, which was compiled and analyzed as the result of your foresight, courage, and largesse, confirms that the Gopher Tortoise (Gopherus polyphemus) makes a satisfactory laboratory assistant but an ineffective pollinator. 

I think your dolphin studies are really neat.
 

Obsequiously yours, 

Otus Rufous

Megascops asio (That's me too!)