If you're anything like me, you have a complicated relationship with Black Friday. On one hand, the whole experience is a waking nightmare — waking up early, navigating the crowds and maintaining a healthy blood pressure amidst the hordes of insane shoppers. But on the other hand, hey, you know, cheap stuff.
So what's a guy to do? As we see it, you have five choices:
Hide. Yep. As I've learned, the best way to deal with your problems is to outright ignore them. Black Friday? Never heard of it. I'm staying inside. Far away from the mayhem. But now I can't afford half of my Christmas list ...
Embrace it. If you can't beat ’em, join ’em. I think that's a thing people say. Your second option is to swallow your pride, gear up and get out there in the trenches. Those shoppers aren't going to trample themselves. Who knows? Maybe you can even find a cheap tent to camp out in next year.
Split the difference. Another valuable problem-solving lesson I've picked up is to just half commit to something when you're indecisive. If you stay in, you'll miss all the deals. But if you go out, They win. So, why not pick the best (worst) of both worlds? Sleep in; stroll in late and see what kind of useless leftover deals you can find just for bargain's sake. What? You know you've been ogling that food processor for months. And at 5% off, you can't afford not to buy it.
Your friend, technology. Ever since the advent of Cyber Monday, you can get all the soul-draining consumerism of regular Black Friday without ever having to leave the house. Or get dressed. What a time to be alive! So call in to work with a turkey hangover and see exactly how strictly your credit card company defines the word "limit."
D.) None of the above. You know what? This all sounds terrible. Nobody's getting anything for Christmas, and I'm going back to sleep.
