10 reasons to get excited for the Mall at University Town Center

So, in case you've somehow failed to notice, Sarasota is currently losing its collective mind. The culprit? The new Mall at University Town Center.

Seriously, we haven't seen Sarasota this worked up since Siesta Key Beach was named the best beach in America. But who needs a beach — or the outdoors at all, for that matter? We've got shopping to do, and this money's not going to spend itself.

The grand opening is set for 9:30 a.m. this Thursday, and we'd be lying if we said we haven't found ourselves suffering from a mild case of mall madness.

Here are the 10 reasons we're most excited about the new mall:

1. Driving. Well, a lack thereof. Until now, any hopes of decent shopping meant a drive to Tampa. That's a tough drive to justify if you don't need anything specific. Now we can just spend an hour navigating the new traffic congestion. But that's beside the point.

2. No movie theater or food court. Now, this might not immediately strike you as something to be excited about, but give it some more thought. Who loves to hang out at mall food courts and movie theaters? You guessed it. Teens. Angsty, angsty teens. And honestly, I don't need anybody bringing me down while I'm trying to be financially irresponsible.

3. There's an Apple store. Now you can drool over iGadgets and reflect on your monetary shortcomings without having to drive out of town!

4. Conveyor belt sushi. Yep. One of the mall's tenants, YO! Sushi, serves up sushi rolls to customers via conveyor belt. The future is now.

5. Saks Fifth Avenue. Everyone loves Saks, and now we have a full-sized location, complete with a men's department. Plus, any store with a store room rated at 24,000 shoes is probably worth getting excited about.

6. Two Starbucks. You're gonna need a lot of caffeine to fuel these shopping sprees — they've been a long time coming. With two separate Starbucks locations inside the mall, you'll never be more than a few hundred feet away from dark-roasted salvation.

7. Seasons 52. With a menu that changes seasonally and a selection of dishes under 500 calories that actually taste good, Seasons 52 allows you to grab something to eat without the guilt normally associated with sustenance — or the disgust that comes with health food.

8. There's an H&M. As it turns out, it is possible to be completely broke and look halfway presentable. H&M is a life saver in the "business casual" game. And if you're in the market for some skin-tight neon pants, you'll be hard pressed to find a better provider.

9. Cheesecake Factory. Anyone who's eaten here is probably familiar with the restaurant's Pavlovian response. Just hearing the name is enough to knock even the most committed dieter off the wagon.

10. A good alibi. If none of the above options are appealing to you, at least take away this: if nothing else, the increase in traffic will provide you a pretty airtight excuse to be late for at least a month or two. Just don't overdo it.