BUSTED: This week in police reports: Thursday, July 23

+ Speak Up

10:48 a.m., July 13 / 1800 block of Martin Luther King Jr. Way / Battery

A store employee reported that he had been battered by a customer who was upset with him for having to repeat himself. He then lunged over the counter and struck the man in the upper lip with his fist. The security footage revealed that both men were lunging over the counter swinging at each other before the man made contact with the employee.

+ Finders Keepers

9:30 p.m., July 10 / 1400 block of 10th St. / Petit theft

A man told officers his motorcycle cover had been stolen overnight. He later came back to report that he'd found the cover. A woman was sleeping on it in a nearby grassy area. She said she didn't steal it; she just found it and slept on it.

+Beer Me

6 p.m., July 19 / Ringling Blvd. / Dispute

A man reported that a heavy-set male approached him and told him to give him his beer. When he said no, the man punched him in the mouth and reportedly had a knife in his hand. He left afterward. The man's girlfriend, however, told police the man didn't punch her boyfriend; he slapped him in the eye. Due to conflicting reports and no observable injuries, the officers didn't believe a battery took place.

+ Apocalypse Now (Or Later)

10:40 a.m., July 18 / 200 block of S. Palm Ave. / Suspicious Person

A man in a church balcony began talking to himself and making statements like, "I am the apocalypse and armageddon."

The officer escorted him out of the church, where he determined the man wasn't a threat to himself or others.