Senior dating: Full speed ahead

Lois Davis, 80, sat at Table 12 holding a stack of cards fanned just below her nose like she’s playing a game of Texas Hold’em.

But these weren’t playing cards. They were blank business cards, and on them, she’d written her name and phone number.

“I’ve got five aces,” said Frank Mosca, who for the next five minutes would be Davis’ date.

Mosca turned to the others seated around the table.

“You can tell she plays cards,” Mosca told them.

Davis laughed. A sense of humor was one of the key traits she seeks. In fact, she said she would be willing to date younger if it meant finding someone who can keep up with her wit.

The scene unfolded June 8, at Kobernick House, during the first of six Stir It Up 60+ Speed Dating sessions. Hosted by the Friendship Centers and Kobernick-Anchin-Benderson, the event will switch locations every other month to give seniors more opportunities to meet potential matches.

The first event drew 47 singles ranging in age from 60 to 95. Even more people registered for the event and were placed on a waitlist.

Earlier in the night, as the daters entered the room, the women stayed on one side, chatting with each other, while the men enjoyed a few minutes of guy time on the other. Meanwhile, Kobernick-Anchin-Benderson employees lingered near the refreshments and sangria, looking a lot like chaperones for the evening. No one was ready to hit the dance floor — yet.
 

Daters made their way to their assigned seating. Tables 1 through 12 were each occupied by two women and two men. Before the dates officially began, table mates were already striking up conversations.

The rattling of a tambourine signified the start of each date.

Peg Guy, 80, wasn’t nervous as she scanned the room in preparation for her first date.

She was hoping to find someone who can keep with her active lifestyle that includes weekly French classes and visiting her daughter in Alaska.

After her second husband died, she never tried online dating or matchmaking, but something in the email about the senior speed dating event piqued her interest.

“It sounded fun,” she said. “I think that you first have to put it out in the universe and say, ‘I’m here.’”

She struck up a conversation with a man who suggested they make a tennis date. He took her number but didn’t give her his contact information.

“I would be surprised if I heard anything from him,” Guy said several days after the event. “That’s the first time I’ve ever been to anything like that.”
 

The loud chatter made it difficult to hear, forcing some participants to lean closer to their potential partners.

All attendees were given a list of suggested questions.

“What do you do?” was a common question, often asked jokingly.

“I’m retired,” was usually the answer.

“Do you have grandkids?” was another common inquiry.

When just one minute remained, the tambourine’s ring warned that it was time to wrap it up. The men then rotated to the next table, while the ladies waited for their next suitor.

One challenge of organizing senior speed dating is finding enough men — and that’s not just because there are fewer men among older age groups.
 

Event coordinator Patricia McMahon finds that men can be harder to attract, in part because they tend to be “overly weary.”

“Some of these women have been married for so long,” she said. “The men start to question, do they even like anyone after that? The women are thinking it will be so much fun.”

Guy also knows the challenges of meeting single senior men.

“Unless you’re part of a church group or an active volunteer, we’re limited sometimes in how you expand your circle of acquaintances,” Guy said. “Men have more freedom and ability to go out and meet more people. We’re the ones who cling back. I think that’s the perception that still exists out there with people our age.”

As the speed dates winded down, there was another chance for the seniors to connect: A dance followed the speed dating.
Davis — the dater who held her cards close at the beginning of the night — was still clutching all 12 cards. But she hadn’t given up.

“When I find someone I do like, I’m just going to slip my card right in his pocket,” she said.

But as she left Table 12, she admitted that someone caught her eye.

“He’s cute,” Davis said of a man she met on a date.

By the end of the night, he had the winning card: one of Davis’ business cards with her name and phone number.
“I almost fainted when he said he was 95 because he’s really spry,” Davis said. “He lost his wife six months ago. But he said on Wednesday night that was the first evening that he had really enjoyed in six months.”