100 Years of Heart: Betty Schoenbaum joins the centenarian club

It’s hard to forget the first time Betty Schoenbaum gives you one of her famous hugs.

There’s something about her “heart-to-heart” method — perhaps the most intimate hug you can get from someone outside your circle of loved ones — that makes you feel so safe, so cared for in just a matter of a few fleeting moments.

These hugs are a brief glimpse into the mindset of one of Sarasota’s most generous souls, and it’s how her three-hour interview with the Sarasota Observer ended.

But let’s start from the beginning, as she suggested.

Schoenbaum was born in Dayton, Ohio, on Sept. 27 1917. On Wednesday, Sept. 27, 2017, she will celebrate her 100th birthday.

“What do I say about my life?” she asked, seated at the kitchen table in her luxurious penthouse overlooking Sarasota Bay. “I describe my life as a life that is ineffable.”

When Schoenbaum spoke about the past 100 years, which she remembers in often striking detail, she couldn’t use the word “wonderful” enough. Wonderful parents, four wonderful children, a wonderful husband who she said she’s bragged about “enough” — Schoenbaum is grateful for the people who have given her “joy beyond description.”

But that’s never been enough for Schoenbaum.

“I feel sorry for people who don’t share what they have,” she said. “They don’t get anything out of life.”

Ever since she was a little girl asking her mother to donate her clothes to girls in need, giving has been a core aspect of Schoenbaum’s life. She said it started with her grandmother, whom she watched for years drop coins into a small tin used to save money for charity.

“I think I always liked giving — even when I couldn’t give money I gave affection to people that I felt needed it,” she said. “When a lot of people wouldn’t talk to a girl at school, I’d make a friend of her.”

However, it was her husband, the late Alex Schoenbaum, who reinforced her need to give.

Before Alex Schoenbaum became the wealthy founder of Shoney’s, part of the successful Big Boy restaurant chain, he was a car salesman living with his wife in a $40-a-month efficiency apartment in Columbus, Ohio. Betty Schoenbaum said he pledged $100 to the United Jewish Appeal during this period, even though it was far more than he could afford. But he made it happen.

He was a charitable man, she said. And he set the foundation for what would become the lasting philanthropic legacy the Schoenbaums have in Sarasota.

In 1974, the Schoenbaums moved to Sarasota with their youngest child, Emily. Right away, Betty Schoenbaum got involved in the local nonprofit community.

Through her husband’s involvement with the Jewish Federation she was introduced to her favorite organization, Jewish Family and Children’s Service of the Suncoast. Schoenbaum said she loves JFCS because its goal is to heal all people in the world — not just the Jewish people.

“If a boy is released from prison at 4 a.m., they pay for him to stay somewhere for the night,” she said. “Isn’t that wonderful?”

Other than JFCS, she also cited Boys and Girls Clubs of Sarasota County, Women’s Resource Center (she gave $150,000 to its scholarship fund in the past 30 years) and All Faiths Food Bank as some of the organizations she’s most proud to support.

She does more than just support other nonprofits, however. She also co-created her own.

The Schoenbaum Family Foundation began in 1988 when Alex and Betty Schoenbaum allocated much of their wealth for donations to local nonprofits.

In 1990, The Glasser Schoenbaum Human Services Center opened in Sarasota. The late Dr. Kay Glasser wanted to create an organization to deliver health and human services more efficiently to Sarasota, and with financial backing from the Schoenbaums, she did it.

Today, the The Glasser Schoenbaum Human Services Center “campus of caring” houses 18 nonprofit health and human services agencies that help 45,000 low-income and at-risk residents every year.

In 2002, the Schoenbaum Family Enrichment Center opened in the couple’s previous home of Charleston, W. Va., with the same vision. The center houses nonprofit resource programs that provide services such as all-day child care and workforce training.

Schoenbaum’s passion goes beyond monetary donations. She also encourages others to give, particularly through speeches at philanthropic events.

One of the main causes she tells people to support is education, and her passion is especially evident by the rows of binders in her office that document her contributions to Ringling College of Art and Design and her alma mater, Ohio State University.

“As you can see, I’m hot on scholarships,” Schoenbaum said. “To give somebody the opportunity to lead a decent life, to have a way to make money, I think that’s so important.”

Near the end of her interview, Schoenbaum voiced her fear that she hadn’t spoken enough about her love of giving. She brightened when asked her advice for young people who want to give back — she said to help a cause you love.

Through the tightness of her parting hug and the smile on her face as she pointed out the birthday card featuring 100 candles from children at the Schoenbaum Center, that love was evident.