Brothers in Arms

Todd Hughes' pain started in 2004 when he stepped out of his Humvee and was hit with an explosive device in Iraq. The blast left stunned the Army soldier, leaving him with a concussion and other wounds. 

The incident happened years ago, but the damage has stayed with him. Hughes has hearing loss in one ear, permanent leg injuries, compressed discs and arthritis. 

Headaches from blood clots in his head have evolved into crippling pain that makes it hard for Hughes to think, speak, or remember basic information. Hughes, who is also scared of needles, now receives regular botox shots to deaden the pain receptors in his head. He also routinely needs supplemental oxygen. 

Hughes, 38, experiences deep depression and sadness and, during his lowest and most painful days, understands why some of his friends in the military have taken their own lives.

“I’m not suicidal … but there’s days I don’t want to be here,” Hughes said, adding that his wife, two children, and a network of close friends make a big difference.

Hughes, now working as Goodwill's Veterans Services Program Manager, is one of the organizers of the “Lutz Buddy Up” program for veterans and first responders in the Sarasota and Manatee areas. The program, which started  a year and a half ago, connects veterans and first responders to provide a sense of community.

Sometimes the group meets just to eat and chat, other times some members talk about what they’ve gone through, and how they’re handling it now. More than anything, Hughes wants it to be a time for veterans to feel like they belong. Talking through things with people who understand is what has helped Hughes come so far— he wants the same for others.

“The veterans that struggle nowadays, we see that they're just missing that camaraderie that we had in the military,” Hughes said, adding it's hard to replicate the bond military personnel and first responders experience.

The group was founded by Janine Lutz after the suicide of her son Marine Lance Corporal Janos V. Lutz, who served in Afghanistan and Iraq. Hughes and fellow veteran and Goodwill Manasota veterans worker Randy Wright approached Lutz about opening up a local chapter.  

Lutz Buddy Up meets on the third Wednesday of every month. The group paused its in-person meetings at the Goodwill location at the beginning of the pandemic, but Hughes said it just wasn’t the same — the feeling of connection was missing. In-person meetings resumed in July at the Disabled Americans Veterans facility on Bee Ridge Road. 

Leondro Moronta is a 48-year-old Sarasota resident Army veteran. Missions from 1993 to 2004, took him to Somalia and Iraq. It hurt him in ways he can't quite articulate to many civilians.

Since he's joined the program, though, he's been able to open up about his PTSD. It took time — his wife introduced him to Goodwill Manasota's veteran programs two years ago.

"I understood that I wasn't alone," Moronta said. "There were people going through the same thing ... I let people in where I could talk to them. I felt like I was helping other veterans, and they were helping me."

 Since he's been going to the meetings, he feels as if something inside him has been released. He has healthier practices, and has tried new things like meditation to calm himself. It’s still hard, but he feels different.

"I feel more open," Moronta said. "Do we struggle? Yeah, I struggle every day. Is it different? Yes, I'm not trying to take my life and I'm trying to do better for my family ... I feel I can talk to the group about anything."