Gifts from the heart: Sarasotans reflect on the meaning of giving

Great gifts aren’t always things that can fit in stockings or under trees. Sometimes, the most profound gifts exist in the mind—sentimental memories of time spent with loved ones or trips taken in winters past.

We asked some Sarasota residents to share their versions of the greatest gifts they’ve ever received during the holidays, and their responses were full of heart.

Whether those gifts were mental snapshots of family dinners, December births of grandchildren or Christmas concerts across the country, each “present” had its own personal poignancy. Here are their stories.

Cliff Roles

The birth of my twin granddaughters, Aslin and Emery, on Dec. 15, 2014, was my greatest gift. Here is the story: I never wanted children. As a career-minded music promoter with two divorces behind me, I had convinced myself that I wasn’t cut out to be a husband and father.

So, by the time I reached the age of 60, I had banished the idea of ever having children in my life from my mind. I’m not quite sure of the exact moment my life changed. Maybe it was when Maria’s son, Steve, and his partner, Alana, announced they were pregnant—or maybe it was the day after the birth of the girls, when we saw them for the first time in the hospital.

But what I do remember is Alana and Steve coming into my office on Christmas Eve 2014, carrying the two tiniest of human beings (my new twin granddaughters, Aslin and Emery, just a few days old) and placing them both carefully into my arms.

I sat, frightened to move a muscle in case I would drop them or break them. I just stared down at them, tears streaming down my face. Every thought of living one second longer without them in my life was dispelled from my brain, as I realized that this was the best Christmas present that I had ever received. Today, seven years later, friends still delight in reminding me of my cynicism and indifference toward children. I smile and nod my head, and I look forward to the hugs and kisses that Azzi, Emmy and I are going to share the next time they run through the door.

Lou Costa

I remember the wonderful dinners at my parents’ home in Boston, Massachusetts, that revolved around family, food, friends and guests. The festivities all began on Christmas Eve. We would have baked stuffed Maine lobsters and clams casino appetizers (littleneck or razor clams instead of oysters). 

This was a tradition from our Sicilian grandparents who came to this country in the early 1900s. On Christmas Day, we had two full meals: one in the afternoon, followed by one at night. My mother would cook a pasta meal (lasagna or spaghetti) along with a turkey.

We had stuffed artichokes, stuffed peppers and roasted chestnuts (appetizers from our Italian heritage). This dinner was for immediate family and guests who had no local family available for the holidays.

We had to learn not to fill ourselves with pasta because a full turkey meal was still to come. Roasted potato slices cooked in the pan with the turkey was special. The night supper was leftovers for all the relatives who would show up.

It was typically 20 to 30 people (this required supper to be served in shifts). Later at night, my friends would go to our parents’ homes with Santa hats on to sing “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” and have a holiday drink. Around midnight, the last stop for this group was my parents’ home. The family is now spread all over the country. I miss this lost tradition.

Cathy Layton

In 2001, my husband, Pete Russell, surprised me by fulfilling a lifelong dream: seeing the Mormon Tabernacle Choir perform on Christmas in Salt Lake City, Utah. Being a traditionalist when it comes to Christmas music, my childhood home was (and ours is now) filled with choral-style music, particularly from the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

Helplessly sappy, I cannot hear them or see them without tears (my husband, on the other hand, is relieved when Jan. 1 arrives and Americana is again the home genre of choice).

About the concert: it was the first time we had flown since Sept. 11, 2001, so things were tense, and true joy was hard to muster following so much tragedy. Seeing the Conference Center on Temple Square’s soaring ranks of organ pipes and feeling their reverberation in my chest, joined by hundreds of perfectly-pitched choir members, is a profound memory I can remember like it was yesterday. 

Angela Lansbury was the guest performer and she gently drew us back into experiencing Christmas joy by singing what I have come to think of as a healing song: “We Need a Little Christmas.” Pete tries each year to give me gifts I will love, but Christmas 2001 will always be his greatest.

Crystal Bailey

As I reflect on the greatest Christmas gifts I ever received, I realize that I barely remember a handful of past gifts (although a life-sized stuffed Big Bird, a Nintendo game console, and a Hypercolor T-shirt do come to mind).

Instead, the quality time spent with loved ones (chosen and family) are the special memories that last a lifetime. The smells of hot apple cider or sugar cookies fresh out of the oven instantly take me back to my childhood (and the magic of Santa, Frosty and Kevin McCallister from "Home Alone").

On Christmas 2018, my husband, Charlie, and I gifted a trip to our then-14-year-old daughter, Claire, to see a concert in New Orleans.

It was our first Christmas married and it was Claire’s first concert. The concert (Panic! At The Disco) was amazing and the trip created memories that we continue to cherish. But the best part was that the experience became a launching point for our desire to continue exploring new places and creating new memories together.

Christmas is a time to reconnect with each other, reflect on the past year and prepare for a fresh start in the new year. The holidays often bring out the best in us and give us all time to slow down and remember what really matters.

Autumn Steiner

My dad, Gary, was an uninspired gift giver, and he was a procrastinator. Inevitably, around Dec. 22 each year, he would email me, asking what he should get my mom.

He would compensate for his ignorance with extravagance, like when he bought Mom a fancy DSLR camera, even though she barely used a point-and-shoot camera. Imagine his dilemma, then, the year we decided to do a small gift exchange (draw one name, buy one gift and spend $25).

He could have lucked out by getting my brother—who was his mechanically inclined, motor-oil-scented progeny. But, of course, he got me (his prissy, bookish daughter who wouldn’t know a wrench from a tire iron).

Even Mom was easier to shop for. Of all the gifts I’ve received from my parents over the years, just three had Dad’s fingerprints on them: a hammer (autographed in Sharpie, but that’s another story), a drill/driver and a level.

In what I can only attribute to Christmas magic, Dad managed to find me the perfect gift that year: a tape measure (not just any tape measure though—a bejeweled one). I loved it then. I love it now. It is practical and whimsical—the best of both worlds. My dad died a few months ago. There will be no more S.O.S. emails, no more gift exchanges, no more calls to him when something is broken. But he left me with the tools I need and, for that, I am thankful.

Ross Johnston

Moving from the West Coast of California to the West Coast of Florida, and living and working many places in-between, community has always been the greatest gift to me. Enjoying the hidden gems and meeting new friends at the local hangouts are my favorite treasures.

These are only a few of the reasons that I have loved living in Sarasota over the past three years. The many gifts offered by Sarasota can be found around every corner.

Whether I’m walking through Selby Gardens' Lights in Bloom event or watching the downtown New Year’s Eve pineapple drop, the holiday season in Sarasota has provided me with a genuine sense of community and it has helped me call this unique place home.

In particular, the Greater Sarasota Chamber of Commerce’s Young Professionals Group has provided me with a sense of camaraderie and support that has translated into building new friendships, forging new professional networks and creating new volunteer opportunities within the community.

I continue to be impressed with the many opportunities in Sarasota in which to get involved, which fuels my penchant for volunteerism and enhancing that sense of community gift giving. The multitude of volunteer opportunities, especially around the holidays, is really a testament to the supportive and compassionate Sarasota community. I view this community as a true gift and one that sustains my passion for community engagement. 

Clara Reynardus de Villanueva

My husband, Roberto, felt this story might be a little too “real’ or “personal,” however, when I ponder the most meaningful, appreciated—and, yes, most romantic—gift I’ve ever received, there isn’t even a close second place.

During the summer of 2020, I had surgery that required an extremely painful recovery. Without getting into medical details, I could barely walk or sit, and I was too uncomfortable to even care about my appearance. In fact, this former fashionista dressed like a toddler for a month.

Per the doctor’s orders, recovery would require soaking in warm water numerous times a day for several weeks. Roberto surprised me by building an incredibly comfortable and stable contraption into which I could safely position myself and soak to my heart’s content. But the gift didn’t end there. Each time I needed a dip (which, at first, was many times a day), he would get the water temperature just right, help me into place, and then keep me company and distract me while I soaked.

Along with him, our two pups (Bonham and Bowie) would join us every time. They were a little confused about this new family activity, but they happily participated in taking care of Mommy. To this day, I’m deeply grateful for and inspired by Roberto’s compassion and kindness during such a vulnerable time, and I will never take his love for granted.

Erik Arroyo

Every year during the holidays, I am blessed to be gathered with my family from all over the country. Historically, they have repeatedly gifted me a wide assortment of neckties and socks for the holidays.

On my birthday, I can expect the occasional coffee mug but, for the most part, the gifts tend to remain in the categories of socks and neckties. You’re probably asking yourself, “Erik, but what do you receive for Father’s Day or Professional Day or Whenever-the-Gators-Win-a-Championship Day?” The answer might surprise you.

 My family, friends, acquaintances and neighbors come down to visit and, after a tremendous amount of thought on the matter, they eventually conclude that the best gift ideas are dress shirts, neckties and socks.

This year will be no different, and I expect no deviation next year. However, the best gift I have ever received is the time and company of being with these individuals for these fleeting moments. We must value time as the great equalizer. Whether you’re a billionaire or you work a minimum-wage job, you cannot make more time

We all have 8,760 hours in a year to find joy and meaning in our interactions, professions and activities. The best gift you can give is your time and attention to things that truly matter. 

Logically, today is the youngest that you will ever be. This year, you can give yourself a gift: protect your space and refuse to give away your limited time to negative thoughts, worries, the past, toxic relationships, unfulfilling jobs and unnecessary projects. Think of the person that would appreciate you calling them the most right now and give them a call. You will thank yourself later.