Prose and Kohn: Riveview volleyball coach returns to the bench as a mother

Nickie Halbert has two families now. 

The Riverview High volleyball coach has always considered her players her “babies,” watching over them on the way to winning a lot of games. This offseason, Halbert added an actual baby to her life: She and Riverview football strength and conditioning coach Mark Cristiani are the proud parents of Niko Alexander Cristiani, born Aug. 30.

The baby arrived about a month earlier than Halbert expected, throwing off both her personal and professional plans a bit — though she is grateful for the extra month she’s been able to spend with Niko. His arrival meant Halbert had to leave her team at the beginning of the season rather than the middle; she was only able to coach two preseason games. The Rams were not as prepared by that point as Halbert would have liked, but she had little choice in the matter. 

Halbert was gone from the Riverview bench until Sept. 20. In hindsight, Halbert said, she probably returned too soon. But her players wanted their coach back, understandably, and she did not want them to be let down. With a strong support system of family and assistant coaches around her, Halbert has been able to be both a mom and a coach — but it isn’t easy. 

"I am super tired," Halbert said with a laugh after Tuesday's practice. "Some days are better than others. It just depends on the night he has.

“You think you know what it’s (motherhood) going to be like and then it is completely different. It has been amazing. It’s tough to put into words.” 

Halbert said the best part of being a mom is watching Niko grow each day. She said she almost wishes he would stop for a bit, so she could have more time to love him the way he is now, but watching him constantly learn more and more about himself and the world is a treat in itself. 

Halbert said there were times during her pregnancy when she considered never coming back at all. Halbert said she knew as soon as she saw her due date that it would fall during the season. She talked to multiple people in her support system about what the right thing to do was. The one thing Halbert did not want to do was give less than 100% of herself if she returned. That's just who Halbert is, she said; she would rather not do something than do it at less than full capacity. Ultimately, she decided to come back, but even now, the battle to be able to give 100% to volleyball can be a struggle. 

"Being completely transparent, there are nights I do not want to go to practice," Halbert said. "I feel guilty leaving him and it takes a lot to get me out the door. My boyfriend has to tell me, 'You know, your players need you, too. They need you to go.' And it's hard. It's probably harder mentally than physically, getting myself up to coach a group of girls when I have this little guy at home."

Halbert hasn’t changed her coaching style since returning, but she has been provided a new mentality on the job. Halbert said things like mean-spirited emails used to bother her. Now? Not so much. 

“That stuff just rolls off my back,” Halbert said. “It's like, really? You're going to complain about playing time? Or anything like that. This has put those things in perspective, which is good for me because I am such a people pleaser. I just don't care about that stuff as much anymore. I have brought this beautiful life into the world. My purpose now is so much greater than it was before." 

That doesn’t mean Halbert has lost her passion for the sport or her players. She still has the same expectations for the program and she is blunt when it comes to the team's 2021 season: “Our record sucks.” As of Oct. 13, the Rams are 5-19. But Riverview, which has won its district tournament every year since 2015, will not go quietly. Halbert said the team is finally starting to play Rams volleyball over the last few matches, which includes a 2-1 win against Vanguard High on Oct. 2 and a sweep of Sarasota High on Oct. 4. 

“We’re playing so much better volleyball right now and that’s what is important,” Halbert said. “You want to be playing your best in October and November. We just have to take it one game at a time. We are going to compete with whoever we go up against and see what we can make happen.” 

The Rams will begin their postseason run with a district tournament match against Sarasota High on Monday. 

No matter how exhausted she may be, Halbert will be on the sideline.