Sarasota couple celebrates 70 years of marriage

Looking back, it was the smell of hamburgers that changed John Gary’s life.

John — then just a young man of 18 — was on one of his earliest dates with Donna Mount, a woman he met at Sunday School two months before. 

They returned to Donna’s family’s apartment after a night out at the Chicago World Fair, where Donna cooked up some hamburgers for the two of them.

It was a small moment in the grand scheme of things, but John realized he’d never had hamburgers that good. He’d already been thinking about asking Donna something important, but that night sealed the deal.

“I looked at her and said, ‘I want you to be my wife,’” John said. 

“I turned and said, ‘There’s nothing I’d rather be,’” Donna replied. 

Those hamburgers marked a union that has lasted decades — soon to be seven, in fact.

John and Donna Gary, now 90 and 91 years old, are looking forward to their 70th anniversary on Feb. 23. The couple have cherished the good times and weathered the bad since that dinner, always having each other to see themselves through.

John knew from the day he met Donna that she was the real deal — he says he was struck by her honesty and kindness. The pair were first acquainted at Longdale Bible Church when John was 18 and Donna was 19. 

Donna had recently joined the church, which was near their neighborhood, and quickly caught John’s attention. 

Unfortunately (for John), she had also just received an acceptance letter to a nursing school, which would take up her time and have her move away.

“I was upset,” John said. “I was thinking: ‘You’re kidding, she’s going to leave now? I just met her!’ I had no car (to visit her) at that time.” 

He asked her on a date just a week later, and the two caught a streetcar for a night out. They went steady soon after. 

The new couple worked long hours and often would end their nights on the phone together. John would take an hourlong bus ride from the south side Chicago where he lived to visit Donna studying at nursing school on the north side. 

“I’d be waiting on a street corner for the bus, pounding my feet and holding my ears (to stay warm),” John said. “I’d still go as often as I could.”

Things changed — Donna left nursing school and found an office job while John started working at an engineering firm — and the two finally tied the knot a couple years later in 1952. 

Then came children. Donna and John kept busy with five children born in six years, often waking up early in the morning and only crashing into bed late at night. 

John worked for more than a decade as a wedding photographer before discovering a different line of work: selling bonds to banks and insurance companies. That profitable decision moved the Gary family up in the world and also physically moved them to Boston, where they lived for years. 

Linda Conti, their oldest child, remembers the stability and assurance she and her siblings felt from their parents in those days. 

“My mom and dad always made it clear they were one. You couldn’t play one against the other,” she said. “If they were fighting or disagreeing, they didn’t bring it into our lives. It was a peaceful way to grow up.”

A critical part of John and Gary’s relationship over the years has been their unyielding faith, an element that the pair are sure have helped get them through the hardships that come with life. Conti remembers dutifully attending church with her parents and siblings each and every Sunday.

“We had love for God, love for each other and children on the way,” John said. “(God) was what got us through the hard times. Otherwise we’d be without hope or recourse or strength.”

The pair moved to Sarasota in the mid-1980s and eventually retired. But that isn’t to say they became inactive; they quickly signed up for volunteer activities at their Covenant Life Church and other organizations. 

They moved to the Bay Village retirement community more than a decade ago and have been there long enough that it truly feels like home. 

The pair has been looking forward to their 70th anniversary, though John says 70 years together still isn’t enough. 

John and Donna have never been much for Valentine’s Day — what’s the point when their own special day is just a short while later? — but celebrate their anniversary in big ways and small over the years. 

They’ve decided on something quiet for their 70th, maybe a dinner and some FaceTime calls with their ever-growing family of children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. 

But really, they’re just looking forward to each other’s company.

“Being alive together is what’s fun,” Donna said. “(John) is everything I not only want but need.”