APRIL FOOL: Swan reality dating show to begin filming on Longboat Key

APRIL FOOL -- Following a saucy story about two swans who swapped partners, a television producer will spend the next few months on Longboat Key filming a new reality TV show. Based on the secret lives of swans, “Love's Swan Song” will be coming to Animal Planet in the fall. 

Jack Duros is a producer looking to capitalize on the scandals of the swans. While on vacation on Longboat Key over the holidays, he picked up a copy of the Longboat Observer and read all about the love triangle between Donald, Lydia and Chuck. The former two had been mated, but once Chuck saw Lydia, everything changed — like something out of another reality TV show, “Wife Swap.” 

Instantly, Duros saw an opportunity. He braved the Longboat Key housing market to secure a condo to act as his editing studio and hired a camera crew to come down, stat. 

“As soon as I read about the steal-your-girl tactics of Chuck, I knew I had something good,” Duros said. “Every reality show needs a villain, and Chuck was willing to play that perfectly. Will Greta accept him with his wayward past? Viewers will have to wait and see.” 

And the potential viewers are already setting their DVRs to record every episode. Mary Higgins, who walks her dogs past the Bay Isles Parkway pond where Chuck and Lydia reside, is ready to pop some popcorn and pour some wine to settle in for the drama every Monday night this fall. She’s been adding a half mile to her daily walk so she can see what’s happening at the pond and if any other wife swapping has taken place. 

“My dogs will be excited too,” Higgins said. “They’re tired of taking such a long walk to the pond so I can see what those randy swans are up to every day.” 

Duros said filming will take place during the swans’ mating season for maximum drama potential, so expect to see TV trailers pop up on the edges of Longboat Key’s golf courses, where the birds live. The early days of mating season have just begun, but Duros is waiting on some camera equipment to arrive thanks to supply chain issues. 

“Once we get those cameras, I’m going to give them all the fruit and bugs they could eat and wait for the dramatic magic to happen,” Duros said. “Everyone knows the best reality show bits happen when everyone has been imbibing all night.” 

Also on the scene will be Donna Braxton, a resident who volunteered to help Duros film the series. She’s a self-described reality TV junkie who jumped at the chance to get behind the scenes. 

“I’m sure I won’t have to help with editing much,” Braxton said. “After all, what would you have to edit about reality?” 

The show should follow a reality season timeline similar to that of “Love is Blind,” which the show is named for. The swans will get the chance to feel out all the other birds and see who they want to pursue before pairing off for the rest of mating season — er, pilot season. 

“If we’ve already had one wife-swap scenario, just think about what we’ll get when we film them 24/7,” Duros said. 

As for the show’s stars, they’re tight-lipped about any plotlines viewers might see in the first season, and Duros denied the Longboat Observer a chance to view any trailers or speak to the swans. Other than wife swappers Chuck and Donald and their partners Lydia and Greta, the other swans on the show are bachelor Bello and the long-term lovers Nick and Lacy. However, fans might be able to pick up a few clues by watching who’s paired up with who on the shores of Longboat Key’s ponds — if you can tell them apart, that is.