Longboat couple finds love after loss

Walter and Gale Frank are in their 80s and celebrated their first wedding anniversary last month.

By Lesley Dwyer
| 5:00 a.m. February 7, 2023

Walter and Gale Frank in the Grand Bay clubhouse where they got married.

Longboat Key
Neighbors

Walter and Gale Frank were both married for 53 years, but not to each other.

Gale’s husband had a brain tumor and died after a stroke in 2017; Walter lost his wife in 2019 to emphysema among other chronic conditions.

“My wife had been in declining health for a number of years, so I recognized the probability was that I was going to outlive her. The prospect of living alone for the rest of your life after you’ve been married 53 years wasn’t appealing,” Walter said. “Both of us really respect and honor the marriages we had, and it’s a new chapter for us.”

Gale, 82, and Walter, 85, celebrated their one year anniversary last month. The wedding was held at Grand Bay, where they reside part of the year.

Walter and Gale Frank on their wedding day.

Thanks to Gale’s encouraging and technologically savvy son, Charles, the Franks met online.

“I had been widowed for three-and-a-half years, and I said to myself ‘I’d like to get my life restarted,’” Gale said. “I wanted to get back to finding someone I could have dinner with and I could go to the movies and the theater and things like that.”

So she asked single, 49-year-old Charles how to meet people, and he told her to go online. Not the answer the self-described private and introverted Gale was hoping for, but she begrudgingly agreed to try it for one month.

Charles refused to write Gale’s profile for her, but he suggested Match.com, walked her through the process and background checked each suitor.

“I met a few very nice men. I have no argument on that part, but I got disappointed, so I decided to scroll down all the pictures instead of having them recommend somebody,” Gale said.

That’s when she saw Walter with the big smile, who loves to sail, did graduate work at NYU and was looking for intellectual conversation. Gale is originally from Westchester County, New York, so there was one hesitation.

“I thought to myself, 'He’s New York and he’s looking for intellectual conversation.'” Gale said. “Well, New York men who are looking for intellectual conversation usually means that they want to do all the talking.”

Walter quickly translated: “They’re snobs.”

The couple plays off each other like milk and cookies. When Gale told Walter that her maiden name is Frank, he dryly responded, “We might be related.”

It took Walter a whole six days to respond to Gale’s first message. He joked that she had “the world’s worst Match picture.” Gale shrugged her shoulders and said, “I took a selfie. I didn’t care.”

But Gale fit Walter’s “checklist.” She was close in age and shared similar interests. Proximity helped too. Walter was in Cincinnati at the time, and Gale was living in Columbus. When she offered to split the hour and a half drive with him, her considerate nature caught his attention.

Like teenagers, they shared two- to three-hour telephone calls before that first lunch date. Since then, they’ve done just about everything together, including a month-long cross country road trip in their Cadillac SUV with their two dogs in the backseat.

The relationship has been fully vetted, and not just in a confined space for 30 days, both families approve and were onboard from the start. Gale’s grandchildren, especially, took an immediate liking to Walter.

The couple have so many things in common that Walter refers to their relationship as “bashert,” which is a Yiddish term meaning a soulmate that’s meant to be.

“My husband had said many times that if anything happened to him, he would not want me to be alone or stay without someone, so I felt very comfortable.” Gale said. “We come from a generation where I think it is expected to mourn, maybe for the rest of your life, I guess.”

Not for this active couple. The Franks are out on the town at least two to three nights a week.

Dating Advice from the Franks

The Franks also volunteer at the Education Center. Gale was the director of an education program for homeless and at-risk children for 17 years. She leads a women’s group on Fridays from 11 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. Walter spent a nearly 40-year career as a portfolio manager and financial advisor. He leads a financial roundtable on Wednesdays from 3 to 4:30 p.m.

In this case, their relationship success serves as their expertise, so the Observer asked the sweethearts for some Valentine’s Day dating advice.

Be social. Walter ended up on Match because COVID-19 left everyone stuck at home, but he initially thought he’d meet someone by virtue of how socially active he is.

“I’m involved with temple. I’ve gone to the Education Center. I’m part of the sailing community,” he said. “We’re fortunate because we have good health, but you have a lot of life to live.”

Be realistic. “We have another couple that we’re friendly with through the temple, and they met through Match.com. It does happen,” Walter said, “But you have to be realistic that the odds are not great. You have to use different venues.”

Be careful. “It’s like anything else you do, you have to do a little bit of checking,” Gale said. “There’s nothing wrong with that. You’re not going into their personal bank accounts and stuff like that, it’s just to make sure somebody is legitimate.”

Be present. Once you’ve found that bashert connection, nurture it.

“At five o’clock, we stop everything, no matter what’s going on, and we make a drink. He puts on music. We sit down,” Gale said. “It’s a time just for us. Nothing goes on around us, and we do that every single day.”

author

Lesley Dwyer

Lesley Dwyer is a staff writer for East County and a graduate of the University of South Florida. After earning a bachelor’s degree in professional and technical writing, she freelanced for the Sarasota Herald-Tribune. Lesley has lived in the Sarasota area for over 25 years.