- December 21, 2024
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After Dan Power’s son Matthew died in a car crash, it never crossed his mind to ask his other two children if they were being bullied because of their grief.
The topic came up during a support group run by the Blue Butterfly Family Grief Program. It turns out both his son and daughter had been bullied at school.
“I have this shirt that says, ‘My brother was so amazing that God made him an angel,’” Katie Powers said. “I wore it to school, and people were laughing at me.”
The kids didn’t understand what the shirt meant. Some confused Matthew with her brother Robert. Others didn’t know the story and said Matthew shouldn’t have been driving at 15 years old.
Matthew Powers was 15, but he was the passenger. He and Chase Coyner, 17, died in a car crash at the intersection of State Road 64 and Pope Road on their way to a homecoming dance in 2018. He was a sophomore at Lakewood Ranch High School.
Katie Powers was 11 years old at the time. She just turned 17 and volunteers for the same program that helped her navigate grief.
The Blue Butterfly Family Grief Program serves children ages 5-18, who have lost a loved one. The program also offers support groups to the caregivers. Beyond Lakewood Ranch, there are three more locations in Palmetto, Sarasota, and Port Charlotte. Each location serves about 50 families a year.
Blue Butterfly is a program of Tidewell Grief Care. The services are free for families. Thanks to grant money, the program was offered in 10 Manatee County schools last year. The pilot program was successful, so the program will be offered at more schools as it grows.
Program manager Danielle Wondrak said grief can cause symptoms in children that parents don’t always pick up on right away. Often, the grief manifests through behavior — acting out in school or a decline in grades.
“We train the counselors at the schools,” Wondrak said. “It’s very cool because there are adults at the school that the student already knows, and they feel safe with them. But they’re doing our evidence-based curriculum and model.”
Clinical professionals lead all the support groups and activities at Blue Butterfly. Art, music, books and games are used to engage the children. Each semester is eight weeks, but families often enroll for multiple semesters.
Wondrak said it’s common for younger children to finish the program and then come back again at an older age when they can process more.
The Powers family members were enrolled for about three years. Dan and Katie Powers have both transitioned into being volunteers.
During a recent event centered around finding an inner superhero, Katie Powers unveiled her own superpower when asked to sit with a little boy who had never been away from his mom before. Katie read books with him until he felt comfortable enough to join the group.
“It made me realize that I do have an impact when I’m volunteering,” she said. “I’m not just moving chairs. I’m not just helping bring food to them. I’m helping them come out of their shells and work through their grief.”
Katie Powers had to work through her own grief first. One activity, in particular, stays with her. Participants are asked to paint face masks using different colors. They paint the colors according to how they’re feeling on the inside and also what they’re portraying on the outside.
“It helped me realize that I really needed to get help to work through those emotions that I was dealing with,” she said. “I did that project many times over the years. It was very cool to see how it changed after I got the help I needed.”
Robert Powers was 13 years old at the time of the crash. He’s 18 now and just graduated from Lakewood Ranch High School. The face mask painting was one of his favorite projects, too. Overall, he said the program helped him to simply feel normal again.
“Before Blue Butterfly, I felt like I was different,” he said. “I felt like people didn’t understand how I was feeling. But when I joined, I learned that there were people like me, who were going through the same thing I was going through.”
