Community learns about managing grief in loss

Grief manifests itself in different ways for each person, but it can be helpful to know how to recognize its symptoms and ways to cope. Grief Care Counselor Carly Weiss led a free seminar hosted by The Tidewell Foundation on Feb. 12 as part of its community lecture series at The Paradise Center.

Attendees shared their reasons for seeking insights on grief management, from the losses they experienced during the recent hurricanes to the parting with a long-time partner.

Weiss, who is a licensed clinical social worker, broke down grief management into four central tasks, starting with accepting the reality of loss.

“It’s not something that we get over or overcome or become better from,” she said. “It’s something we learn to live with and carry on our shoulders.”

She noted that grief often germinates with a traumatic event, be it the loss of a family member, divorce, change in financial state, retirement, pet loss, illness or any number of distressing situations. People can also struggle with the secondary losses, like financial hardship after the death of a loved one.

Her patients often experience a spectrum of reactions to loss, including the “grief brain” that leaves them feeling sluggish, forgetful and in a fog. People often experience physical symptoms as well, including shortness of breath, lack of energy, pain, insomnia, loss of appetite, nausea and headaches.

She said these reactions are normal, and tackling the tasks to work through grief can help with symptoms over time. The key steps are processing the pain, adjusting to the new circumstances, and finding new connections.

She noted that grief doesn’t follow any specific timeline or template. But what is most important is to keep seeking ways to grow in whatever way is helpful.

Often, patients benefit from finding ways to maintain a connection with whoever they have lost, she said. For example, one father who lost his son dedicated time to playing music he and his late son both enjoyed or writing him letters.

"He was finding ways to connect with them and remember them," she said.

It can also be helpful to be aware of potentially emotion-inducing events, like the holiday season or anniversary of a death. 

Weiss said grieving people do sometimes hesitate to seek support services even if they think they could benefit from them.

"There is hesitation, because this is a hard topic," she said. "I hear a lot of fear. It's hard to talk about. They ask, 'How my feelings are going to be received? Is this going to be a safe place? Does this person know what they are doing?' Those are real questions we get, because we hear so many people respond to grief in a way that's not helpful. Thinking about getting grief counseling can be scary."

But she reassures community members that they are in control of their recovery, and that the experts with the foundation are fully licensed and qualified to provide needed support in the wake of loss.

The Tidewell Foundation provides free counseling services to those who need it. According to the organization, it has provided $2.5 million in grief services to 1,908 individuals at no cost.

“A lot of people are unaware that we are the largest provider for adults and children in the community, at no charge to anyone, even if they can afford to pay,” President Delesa Morris said.

Anyone interested in seeking support can call 941-845-3061 or visit TidwellGriefCare.org to learn more about the specific services offered.